Worst Songs Ever

Having listened to the Ray Darcy Show talking about the Eurovision this popped into my head.

Don’t know why.

Zombie Contingency Plan

I’ve thought a lot about the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse. Maybe I’ve read World War Z one too many times. Maybe I shouldn’t read Cracked. Maybe I should stop watching Shaun of The Dead. Maybe I should make more female friends. I dunno. But, anyway, here’s my plan.

Clothes wise: Leather jackets with high collars, gloves,  thick jeans and shit kicker boots are good. Hard to bite through.

Weapons: I’m quite partial to a good sword or machete. Or a crow bar. They never run out of bullets.

Army Barracks a stones throw from my house would be awesomely defendable as it has high stone walls you can get over with a ladder but not if you’re a zombie. Unless you’re a 28 days later rage zombie. Then we’re all screwed anyway.

But I’m going with Romero Zombies.

Anyway, scale the walls, pull the ladder, we’re in. Good food supply, weapons, electricity supply. Pretty sweet.

Backup plan: Hole up in the house. Attic’s best.  We live in a terrace so knocking through to the neighbouring houses in the attic if we’re stuck for supplies would give us time until the undead rot or riguer mortis sets in or whatever.

Third plan: Run. Just run.

But on the upside according to most global zombie fictional stuff Ireland comes out of it pretty unscathed.

Woo-hoo. Go us.

Regency Romance and Ultra Violence

Just bought ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’ by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith.

First line: ‘It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in posession of brains must be in want of more brains.’

My inner classic literature geek is thoroughly apalled while my inner zombie movie geek is giggling like a bag of monkeys!

They’re coming to get you, Miss Bennet!

Miss Ludite

Seriously. Trying to navigate this blog thing canNOT be that difficult! Argh!!!

Too many options hurt my brain.

The Header

This is the only picture with me in it that I haven’t wanted to burn immediately. That’s why i’m using it.

May change depending on mood.

Peace, out.

Me Likey

I like the world. I know it’s an odd and uncool statement to make but it’s true.

Some of it, of course, sucks (see last post) but overall I kinda like it.

I like being in love. (Shut up).

I like my friends and family.

I like the sea, suchi, Neil Gaiman, people who sing on the street when they’re stone cold sober, Amanda Palmer, elephants, my friends’ way-cleverer-and-better-written-than-anything-I-could-ever-come-up-with-Blogs, victorian literature, the internet (where the aforementioned blogs live) and talking rubbish (obviously).

What do you like?

The Sky Is Falling, Chicken Licken!!!

I promised myself I wouldn’t write, talk about or even acknowledge the death of this bullshit golden calf economy that kept everyone in stupidly expensive coffees and panini’s with their heads lodged firmly up their own arses.

Well. Sorry. But I can’t keep this in. It’s really been bothering me.

I’m an on street fundraiser for a charity that tackles extreme global poverty. Doing this has opened my eyes to what trouble really is.

It’s the 21’st century and there are currently 854 million people worldwide who go to bed hungry.

People should know this.

While fundraising we have a very strict code of conduct. You ask people if they’d have a minute to hear about us. If they say yes, cool, if they say no, also cool, fair enough, have a good day. We don’t guilt, cajole or harrass.

But I’ve had people screaming at me that there’s a recession on. Thanks for that I hadn’t noticed.

And it’s getting worse. There’s been a few times when I’ve been genuinely scared of people’s reactions. And I don’t scare easily.

And what may surprise is that it’s not the people who are losing their jobs and living on the breadline being nasty. They are usually polite and will say no thank you or even give you their time because they realise that no matter how hard things get there are people in the world a hell of a lot worse off.

Generally the people who are rude to me for asking for a minute of their time are:

A: Drunk. Amazing how people can afford booze, isn’t it?

B: People in suits giving out cos they have to drive last years car and their stocks are down.

C: Ladies what lunch who never be out of designer shoes and caramel highlights.

Ok, I don’t know what goes on behind closed doors but I voted for the fellas who didn’t run the country into the sewer so don’t take it out on me!

Even if people are genuinely scared there’s no reason to be rude, nasty or downright mean.

All I’m getting at is that a kind word costs nothing and we’ve all got to learn to prioritise.

Bloodpressure people.

Ok, so here’s the thing.

I KNOW I promised to blog regularly and I KNOW I didn’t and I KNOW lies make baby Jesus cry.

What can I say.

The spirit’s willing but the flesh is weak.

Lazy.

Tired as hell.

Easily distracted.

Kinda hungry.

But mostly lazy.

Hi Hi!

Good Evening Campers!!!

My attempt at a Blog Mark II. ( I swear on my Gideon Bible stolen from a hotel room that I’ll do better this time.)

Just a quick one to say howdy cos I’ve gotta go to work in the morning.

Outside.

In squally Irish weather.

Sigh.